Not being heard or respected
Not getting the attention that you deserve
Always being reminded of your past
Mental, emotional or physical abuse
Constant arguments
Broken trust
Being taken for granted
Loss of love and affection
Relationships are as complex as the individuals that make up the relationship.
The reason your relationship is currently in trouble will be the result of several factors. Ranging from childhood experiences through to the ways in which you react. To the pressures of your current relationship. It is hard to identify and rectify these yourself.
Understanding your drives and needs is the first step in empowering yourself.
Understanding others drives and needs is the foundation of healthy relationships.
We believe that a desire to understand yourself and others and a willingness to implement necessary changes, make relationship repair possible.
Specialise in strategies that are practical and easy to implement within a busy lifestyle.
Conduct a thorough analysis of your relationship and quickly pinpoint the drivers behind your relationship problems.
Help you to design your relationship your way and then use our expertise to show you how to rapidly achieve it.
Show you how to make subtle changes that will bring you the results that you want in your relationship.
Relationships can be successfully repaired if both parties want to repair the relationship.
Both sides must want to undertake whatever change is necessary to make this relationship work.
Sounds easy but it’s not. It will be hard work, but the results make it all worthwhile.
The Truth about the Common Reasons People Use to Avoid Relationship Counselling – Click to Expand
I don’t want to be told I am to blame
I never apportion blame. To do so is counterproductive. Whatever has happened are no more than facts that will help us find a solution.
I don’t want to be told what to do
Relationship counselling is not about forcing you to do things. Certainly, suggestions will be made but ultimately you are the one who decides what you want to do.
I should be able to work this out myself
That would be true if we were experts at everything. But we are not. If you are sick you go to a doctor and if your car is broken you go to a mechanic. As a counsellor, I am skilled in assisting you to find answers to your current dilemma.
I can just talk to my friends
Friends are happy to give you some support and advice but to repair a relationship they are likely to be out of their depth. Friends are not trained to deal with the complexities of people’s lives. They are unlikely to want to take on the responsibility for working with you to rebuild your relationship.
My partner doesn’t want to come
That can present some difficulties but does not make the situation unworkable. There are things that an individual can do to influence a relationship. It is worth coming even if your partner won’t.
I cannot afford it
Can you afford to lose your relationship along with the emotional and financial fallout involved? There is a cost either way. Consider the huge investment that you have made into your relationship to this point. Are you prepared to throw that away without seeing if repair is possible? My fees are more than reasonable for the results that I deliver. If, however, you genuinely cannot afford to pay them, I am open to discussing your situation and finding an affordable solution for you.
So how did your relationship get to this point? – Click to Expand
Relationship issues arise due to a basic principle
You are biologically wired to protect yourself from threat and pain. You are also biologically wired to connect emotionally with others. If the person that you are in a relationship with represents on some level a threat to you, then you want to connect but cannot. This situation leads to the uncomfortable position of wanting something but at the same time pushing it away. These actions are then in turn interpreted by your partner as you don’t love them.
Understanding why you see your partner as a threat is a fundamental step if your relationship is to be repaired successfully.
Why do you feel stuck?
Relationships develop through various stages. The first and most recognised stage is the initial honeymoon period. In the honeymoon period, the focus is on the things that you have in common giving rise to a feeling that “we are one”.
After a period of being together, you start to notice that your partner is different from you in many ways. Noticing differences is a normal part of relationship development but brings with it fears that you are growing apart, that you have little in common. Resentment sets in particularly if one partner starts to embrace their differences and the other partner is still holding on to the “we are one stage”.
Many couples get stuck at this stage which generated feelings of being left behind and rejected or feeling held back and smothered. Understanding how you can be different but be in a relationship together is one of the fundamental issues that need to be addressed for the relationship to develop to its full potential.
Noticing differences does not mean the end of the relationship but instead means that the relationship is growing and if properly supported through this time will lead to an enhanced experience for you both.
Individual issues become relationship issues
The relationship starts with us. The first person that we must relate to is ourselves. How good our relationship with ourselves is, flows into our other relationships. That is why so many things such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and low self-worth can tear a relationship apart over time. Often a poor relationship with ourselves is seen in one partner expecting the other to make them happy. Happiness is something that starts with you. You need to make yourself happy first.
The origin of the problem
Our concept of what it means to be in a relationship and how relationships work is founded on the type of relationship we experienced with our caregiver when we were a child. For example, unpredictable reactions from parents to our needs tend to leave us mistrusting close relationships. Neglect from our parents tends to cause us to rely heavily on ourselves and not trust others.
- Assigning blame
- Finding fault
- Judging people for their action
- Telling you what to do
- Understanding your world through your eyes
- Understanding where you are now
- Understanding where you want to be
- Finding solutions that work for you as individuals in a relationship
All our counselling services are available Face to Face via video conferencing (Telehealth)
Benefits Of Online Face-To-Face Counselling – Click to Expand
Accessibility
Convenient for
Reduces social stigma for
Reduces anxiety
“We were stuck in a rut with our long term relationship, going around and around the same issues, unable to break the cycle of miscommunication and misunderstanding. Tracey helped us to gain a new perspective and a new way of communicating which validated both of our needs, helping us to negotiate and move forward. I would highly recommend this service.”
“Kate was easy to talk to. They were fast and understanding and set up an appointment straight away to try and help me deal with my issues.”
Then this is how we work with you.
We will start with an initial session to take a close look at where you are now, where you want to be and we will make a plan together for how to get you there.
Next, we will take our proven strategies and introduce them into your relationship.
Finally, we will work with you to transform your relationship into one that is highly satisfying and delivers what you are looking for in a relationship.
