We are a relationship based species that means that we seek out other people to live our lives with. Now, we know not everyone in the world is like that, but the majority are.
Everything that we know about relationships is based on observation. We observe what happens in the family that we’re born into. We observe our relatives, we observe other couples.
We watch movies, we get ideas about what romance is, and what passion is, and how a relationship supposed to work. We get that. So we form a belief about relationships and a lot of it is incorrect information. All because we’ve been observing people who may not exactly be doing it to the best of their abilities, either, because they’re just working on what they know.
Concept of relationships is limited by information gathered…
We go out into the world and we encounter various different relationships in the world and we learn from that. Then we get into our first serious relationship, and we take everything we’ve accumulated, everything that we’ve planned, and we take that information, and we apply it. And for some reason, it doesn’t work out.
Then we go, it must be my partner. So we get into another relationship and the same thing happens. We think, what’s the chances of two bad partners in a row, and we get into yet another relationship. That ends up not working properly, either.
Finally, we start to think maybe there’s something fundamentally wrong with us, that we shouldn’t even be in a relationship.
Look, you’re not broken. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be in a relationship, it just means the information that you have at the moment, is not giving you what you need to make this relationship really great. Because it can be really great if you know how to do it.
So don’t despair!
You can learn how to have a great relationship. In addition, you can learn how to work with the things that are holding you back from that, because a lot of patterns are formed by us over the years. So you can learn how to move past those as well and how you can engage in a really great relationship.