What you need to know about self-esteem?
As human beings, we look for so much from others when we believe we don’t have what it takes to be what we want to be. However, self-esteem starts with self:- Self-Love, Self-Respect, Self-worth. You will not find these in others.
Many people can have an opinion about your life and how it should look, and they are compelled to share it with you, leading to the feeling of being overwhelmed.
You end up feeling that you “should” do things. But only you know who you want to be. Don’t silence your voice. Listen to your heart rather than others.
Many of these opinions may be from well-meaning people who believe they can push you to become a better version of yourself.
However, being put down or criticised every day can result in you losing sight of your internal voice.
To start building self-esteem, you need to learn to connect with your inner voice and let it lead you. While we can avoid other people criticising us, we can be our own worst critics.
It would help if you remembered that your mistakes are what you did, not who you are. Actions are choices. Sometimes we make the wrong choices, and we realise that we have made a mistake.
We can learn from our mistakes and make better choices. That’s a much better idea than beating yourself up constantly as a failure. It is not what others have to say that ultimately determines your self-worth but what you say to yourself.
You are always with you. What is your self-talk saying about you? We constantly obsess about the things that we hate or dislike about ourselves.
Most people struggle even to list the things they love about themselves. What if we discovered the things that we like about ourselves and were obsessed with them? How would it change how we value ourselves?
What we currently have in our lives is what we believe we are worth as we manifest what is inside us into reality.
However, when we ask ourselves what we think we deserve, our answer hints at what we are really worth. The gap exists because we allow others to define our sense of worth and discount our value as a result.
The discount occurs when the voice inside us reminds us of who we are according to the input of others over the years. It is loud and commands attention, but that doesn’t make it right.
If what it says is tearing you down and causing you to discount your worth, then it is time to change the voice. You cannot have self-esteem if you live by pleasing others. It must come from within you and define your world.
Just because somebody cannot see the value or worth of an expensive car doesn’t mean the price suddenly decreases. Just because somebody cannot see value in you doesn’t mean you are worthless.
Change is a constant in this world, and so is the pressure to be what others would like you to be. It can be easy to conform, but it is rarely satisfying. Find out who you are, be who you are and do the things that align with who you are.
Make the Change
You can bend your world to conform to what everyone else wants, but you will never be happy. What is in your heart? Define your world by that.
Some will judge, but others will be drawn to you. If you want everyone to like you, fear will stop you from doing things.
Follow your heart. Embrace those who like you and release those who don’t. It’s your life, not theirs. Don’t compare yourself to others. Instead, compare yourself to yourself.
Ask yourself, “Am I better than I was yesterday or the week before?”
Celebrate change on your terms. Go for what you believe in, not what others would like you to believe in. Make decisions that support, not ignore, discount, or downgrade your self-esteem.
The power is in your hands. You are perfect exactly as you are. With all your flaws and problems, there is no need to change anything but the thought that you have to change.
You’ll be amazed how counselling can help better your self-esteem
You will find that talking with StartPoint Counselling Beenleigh is your starting point for happy relationships and mental wellbeing.
StartPoint Counselling Practice is conveniently located in Beenleigh close to Logan, Mt Warren Park, Stapylton, Homeview, Waterford, Loganholme and Yatala areas. However we also offer phone consultations for your convenience, see more about Booking Appointments here.
We offer a 15-minute complimentary phone session with one of our experienced counsellors. Your relationship to yourself, impacts all your other relationships. Find out how we can help you to love yourself, so you can focus on bettering your other relationships.
