The English language contains words that sound the same, but have different meanings. For example, the word “there” and the word “their” sound the same but have 2 different meanings. Other words in the English language can have various meanings. An example of this is the word love.
If somebody says they love another, the meaning of love could encompass erotic love through to companionship love. The difficulty lies in one person speaking about love using their definition of love, while somebody listening hears the word love and interprets that according to their definition of love.
Both are using the same word but both understand it in different ways.
This difference in meaning leads to misunderstanding and at times conflict. This sort of conflict is something that we see often at StartPoint Counselling.
A graphic example of this occurred one day when an StartPoint Counselling counsellor had a couple who seemed to be making conflicting statements. They were expressing the things that they struggled with within their relationship. She was complaining that they never went out and he replied by saying we go out all the time.
It just didn’t seem to make sense to people who could have such a different view on such a simple thing. Realising that there must be a different meaning for the phrase “go out,” StartPoint Counselling counsellor asked each one in turn what “go out” means.
She replied that go out means going to a restaurant or theater. He replied that “go out” means any time they go out together, which includes shopping etc. The different meaning placed on the word “go out”, was causing conflict resulting in each one defending their position as the truth.
That’s why we need to make sure that we understand the other person’s meaning of the words that they use. We know that black is a particular colour, so when you say black there is basically a limited way that you can interpret that.
Yet when you use words such as love you need to realise that there are many ways to express love. So what one person sees as love, can be different from another. The only way to learn how people use words differently is to ask.
Understanding the meaning that people put on various words, greatly increases your ability to correctly interpret what they are saying.
If it is possible for a word to have a range of meanings, check with the speaker to ensure that you understand the meaning attached to that word. For example, what does your partner mean when they are talking about needing intimacy? Is their understanding of the word the same as yours?
Need further clarification? StartPoint Counselling counsellors can help you clear up any misunderstandings that come from couples adding different meanings to the same word!
You’ll be amazed how counselling can help you better your communication
You will find that talking with StartPoint Counselling Beenleigh is your starting point for happy relationships and mental wellbeing.
StartPoint Counselling Practice is conveniently located in Beenleigh close to Logan, Mt Warren Park, Stapylton, Homeview, Waterford, Loganholme and Yatala areas. However we also offer phone consultations for your convenience, see more about Booking Appointments here.
We offer a 15-minute complimentary phone session with one of our experienced counsellors. Find out how we can help you to have less misunderstandinggs from your partner in your relationship.
