Relationships can be complex, and it’s not uncommon for them to experience difficulties along the way. However, understanding the underlying reasons why relationships can become challenging is essential to repairing them successfully. In this post, we’ll explore some of the fundamental issues that can arise in relationships and provide insights into how to navigate them effectively.
The Basic Principle: Protection and Connection
Humans are biologically wired to protect themselves from threats and pain, but we are also wired to connect emotionally with others. This can create a challenging situation in a relationship where you want to connect with your partner but, at the same time, are pushing them away. Understanding why you see your partner as a threat is essential to repairing your relationship successfully.
Feeling Stuck: Understanding Relationship Development
Relationships go through various stages, and the first and most recognisable stage is the honeymoon period. During this time, the focus is on the things you have in common, creating a feeling that “we are one.” However, after a while, you start to notice differences between you and your partner. This is normal, but it can also create fears that you are growing apart, leading to resentment and feelings of being left behind or smothered.
Individual Issues Become Relationship Issues
The first person we must relate to is ourselves, and how we relate to ourselves can impact our other relationships. Depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and low self-worth can all contribute to tearing a relationship apart over time. A poor relationship with ourselves can often manifest in expecting our partner to make us happy, but happiness starts with you. You need to make yourself happy first before expecting your partner to do the same.
The Origin of the Problem
Our concept of what it means to be in a relationship and how relationships work is founded on the type of relationship we experienced with our caregiver when we were a child. Unpredictable reactions from parents to our needs tend to leave us mistrusting close relationships, while neglect from our parents tends to cause us to rely heavily on ourselves and not trust others.
How to Repair Your Relationship
To repair your relationship successfully, it’s important to understand the underlying issues and work on them together. This might mean acknowledging your individual issues and seeking help to work through them, learning to embrace your differences and finding ways to connect despite them, or even seeking couples therapy to navigate the challenges together. The key is to approach the process with an open mind, a willingness to work on yourself and the relationship, and a commitment to making things work.
Professional Counsellors Beenleigh
If you’re experiencing challenges in your relationship, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. By understanding the underlying issues and working on them together, you can repair your relationship and experience a stronger, more fulfilling connection.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to reignite the spark in your relationship, consider checking out our course, Reignite the Spark. Our expert team is here to support you in navigating the challenges of relationships and creating a deep and lasting connection with your partner. Book a consultation today or give us a call on 07 3458 1725