They want to make changes also in their relationships, the quality of their relationships, what they get back out of their relationships.
While that’s a great thing that you have those aspirations. What happens though, is we’ve tried to make these changes, it gets uncomfortable.
Matter of fact of feeling as you move outside of where you are at the moment, it can feel quite yuck. There’s no certainty. You can some fears come up about what you’re doing.
You just feel out of your element, you feel overwhelmed, and you want to go back into your comfort zone. And we call it a comfort zone for a reason. It’s a comfort zone because it feels comfortable.
But obviously, it’s not 100% comfortable because we wouldn’t be trying to move outside of it. If it was there are certain elements about it that we don’t like and there are certain things we aspire to, that we don’t have at the moment.
But the things that make this the comfort zone is this is predictable. We know that if we do a certain thing, then we get a certain result. So that predictability or that certainty is comfortable.
What we find is we move outside of this comfort zone, we move into an area which is unpredictable and it’s unpredictable because we don’t have to understand the rules, we don’t understand how it works.
The rules from our comfort zone don’t seem to apply here. So the tension that builds up there is what tries to drive us back into the comfort zone.
What you really need as you get out into these areas is a guide, who knows the rules, someone who can take us there, someone who can help us navigate away from this comfort zone, the old comfort zone, but start to move towards what will become a new comfort zone as we understand the new rules, and we start to achieve what we want.
So you need a guide, you need someone who knows the rules, so you can learn the rules and that way, you can re-establish a new comfort zone. And that’s exactly what we do at Start Point Counselling.
You’ll be amazed how counselling can help you out of your comfort zone