Feeling Validated Empowers Relationships

  • Feeling Validated Empowers Relationships

How feeling validated empowers relationships

Validation is a valuable tool in relationships. Feeling validated empowers relationships by balancing the feelings and thoughts of both partners. It allows one partner to feel heard and understood. Unfortunately, many couples struggle with questions about who is validating whom. Questions arise whether validation is necessary for their relationship dynamic.

To understand this better, we need to take a closer look at what validation is

  • how it works within the context of relationships,
  • why both partners need validation within a relationship
  • how to go about increasing validation in your sphere of influence.

Background information on Validation

Many terms express validation–validated, making validated, to validate. But it comes down to belief and trust. In a relationship, your significant other validating you means that they trust and believe in you. They treat you as someone who knows themselves best. When validation is lacking in a relationship, it often leads to one partner feeling left out or misunderstood. Simultaneously the other partner is left stressed about saying the wrong things for fear of being made out as demanding.

Invalidation and the impact on mental health

Validation has become an integral part of understanding relationships due to its role in social communication. Humans are social creatures, so much so that when others do not validate us, it can negatively affect our mental wellbeing. Therefore, someone suffering from depression or anxiety will exacerbate their condition if they do not feel understood by those around them. The simplest reason validation is needed in relationships is that it guarantees that both partners understand each other and the actions they need to take in their lives together.

What happens in relationships when validation is lacking?

Stress and anxiety can rise quickly in a relationship where one partner feels unheard or ignored. This stress makes the person seeking validation feel even more insecure about themselves. In defence, they lash out at their significant other. This behaviour generally causes their loved ones to retreat from any form of contact with them. The initial response causes more damage than good in most cases. When two people who seek love from each other start fighting for it by waging war instead of giving mutual support, things tend to end poorly for everyone involved.

Invalidation and the impact on physical health

In addition to causing mental and emotional stress, lacking validation in a relationship can cause physical harm. When people are stressed out, they tend to lose sleep. Someone who has insomnia will see their mental state deteriorate quickly. Lacking proper hours of sleep makes the brain foggy. It becomes difficult for either partner to perform high focus or memory levels tasks. Eventually, this leads to one person being more exhausted than the other. They become irritable and snappy as a means of acting out against those around them.

What makes feeling validated important?

Stop and think about all of the implications invalidation can cause within a relationship. We start to understand why it’s so important to remain validating your significant other during good times and bad. In a healthy relationship, there should always be someone who takes the time to listen and understand what their loved one is going through.

Increasing the feeling of validation in your relationship

Trying to increase validation within a relationship can seem challenging on the surface. It becomes much easier if both partners are willing to work together. The first step towards making this happen involves setting aside time every day.  During this time each partner can express themselves without fear of judgment or scorn from their significant other. Trust will erode if either person feels like they cannot do this. This ultimately leads to the breakdown of the relationship.

Feeling validated empowers relationships

Feeling validated partners feel relaxed enough to share deeper feelings with each other. They can now become comfortable expressing their needs and wants openly without fear of being put down.

You’ll be amazed how counselling can help you

You will find that talking with StartPoint Counselling Beenleigh is your starting point for happy relationships and mental wellbeing.

StartPoint Counselling Practice is conveniently located in Beenleigh close to Logan, Mt Warren Park, Stapylton, Homeview, Waterford, Loganholme and Yatala areas. However we also offer phone and telehealth consultations for your convenience, see more about Booking Appointments here.

We offer a 15-minute complimentary phone session with one of our experienced counsellors. Find out how we can equip you and your child to deal with their emotions.