Dealing with Life When You Have Lost Something of Value to Us
Grief can be overpowering and you can struggle to deal with life when you have lost something of value to you.
Seen generally as losing people close to us, it can also refer to losing anything of significance to us. After many losses, they start to add one on top of the other and become complicated grief.
Seen in some or all the following is complicated grief
- A sense of sadness that never seems to stop
- Feeling gloom, doom and hopelessness about life
- Irritability and quick to anger
- Problems with sleep
- Withdrawing from social interactions and things that you used to like
- Denying there’s anything wrong and becoming defensive when asked what’s wrong
- Distracted at work and home and not taking an interest in others
- The worsening of any pre-existing depression, anxiety or substance abuse
- Engaging in behaviour that appears to be impulsive, reckless and self-destructive
- Any talk of suicide or engaging in suicide attempts
The Counsellors at Startpoint Counselling have seen people suffer loss in numerous areas of life such as;
- Loved ones
- Contact with family
- Their usual way of life
Any significant loss will put us in the grief process of denial, bargaining, depression, anger, and finally, acceptance. What if you have multiple instances of the grief process running simultaneously, and none of them resolved?
While the ideal way to cope with grief is to express those emotions that come with the loss, it’s also common to avoid them and suppress the grief process. The result is complicated or accumulative grief.
This type of grief is very overpowering and leads you to believe that life is crumbling around you. Over time this cumulative effect will break you as you struggle to deal with Life.
Coping with Complicated Grief
- Each loss needs to be dealt with individually.
Trying to deal with multiple losses as a whole will be overwhelming, and your attempts to do so will lack the clarity required.
- List each loss on paper.
- For each loss, list how you felt about the loss and the subsequent effect.
- Note what thoughts and feels are coming up and write them down
- This process can bring on depression or anger, or both. These emotions are part of the grieving process
- Be aware of what is happening internally.
You can realise and label strong emotions for what they are and realise that they constantly change in intensity. Through recognising, experiencing and accepting the feelings as a normal part of the grieving process, they will over time diminish.
- Find people who will accept how you feel about your loss and talk to them about how you are going through. This is all part of safely expressing emotion.
- The temptation will always be there not to talk to others as you are worried that they will dismiss your feelings. So choose those that you confide in carefully.
Seek Professional Help
As loss overwhelms us, finding the way through by yourself can be challenging. Trying to work out what you should do and how to cope with life while everything seems chaotic is overwhelming in itself.
Grief counselling offers you a way to share your grief with someone who is not all directly impacted by the loss—somebody who will listen compassionately. Through sharing your pain in a safe, supportive atmosphere, the counsellor will assist you in identifying, experiencing and finding strategies to resolve, manage and move through this time of pain at a comfortable pace which you will set.
You’ll be amazed how counselling can help you process grief
You will find that talking with the Psychologists at StartPoint Counselling Beenleigh is your starting point for happy relationships and mental wellbeing.
Startpoint Counselling Psychology Practice is conveniently located in Beenleigh close to the Logan, Mt Warren Park, Stapylton, Homeview, Waterford, Loganholme and Yatala areas. However we also offer phone consultations for your convenience, see more about Booking Appointments here.
We offer a 15-minute complimentary phone session with one of our experienced grief counsellors. Find out how we can help you in the midst of your grief.