Loss occurs when we lose something of value to us. This is generally seen as losing people who are close to us but can also refer to losing anything of significance to us. After many losses, they start to add one on top of the other and becomes what is called complicated grief.
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Often having too much to do and not enough time to do it leads to feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelm impacts us mentally, physically, and emotionally and in turn, impacts those around us. When we are in this situation, it’s tough to see how we can change anything. Here are five tips for reducing overwhelm and increasing […]
The Fourth Horseman is STONEWALLING Stonewalling occurs when someone completely withdraws from a conflict discussion and no longer responds to their partner. It usually happens when you’re feeling inundated or emotionally overwhelmed, so your reaction is to shut down, stop talking, and disengage. When couples stonewall, they’re under a lot of emotional pressure. This pressure […]
The Third Horseman is DEFENSIVENESS Defensiveness is a self-protection mechanism which comes out in the form of moral outrage or evoking a sense of victimhood in an attempt to fend off a perceived attack. People often become defensive when they believe they are being criticized (First Horseman of Toxic Communication). Defensiveness is a way to push the […]
Uncertainty is something that we experience individually first, but then it affects our relationships as our anxiety and frustrations grow. Whatever I can change on an individual level will bring about a change on a relationship level as well. How I am coping is not just my problem, but it becomes an overall problem for […]
The Second Horseman is CONTEMPT Contempt is the actions that convey the sense to another that they are worthless or beneath our consideration. It shows up when we make statements that come from a position of us being morally superior. Some good examples of this are name-calling, mockery, sarcasm, eye-rolling and degrading or hostile humour. Contempt […]
The Gottman Institute talks about Four Horsemen, which indicate that a relationship is starting to fail. It’s worth being aware of these Four Horsemen and know how to counteract them as they creep into your relationship. Once they get a hold, then frustration, anger and resentment follow them. The earlier that they are addressed, the […]
Who Am I? While life follows a safe routine day-to-day, and I know what I’m doing and what’s likely to happen, I have a certain degree of security and an idea of who I am. However, life is currently changing, and we are not quite sure where it can end up or indeed, how it […]
We usually associate grief with the loss of someone close to us. However, grief is also related to the loss of anything that you love such as a relationship, employment, family roles, or anything else that defines who you are as a person. The advent of coronavirus means that many things in our society have […]
You have two choices in this time of lockdown. It can be a period of significant growth for your relationship, or it can be a period of great struggle. To date, our relationships have survived well because we can have time outside of the family home. We go to work, and we have hobbies which […]
Without the pressure of work, regular family routines and other responsibilities we relax and start to engage in different activities. Some of these activities result in improved self-care and improved relationships. if only you could take these benefits back into your non-holiday life and reap the benefits. Well you can and I explain how in […]
To achieve the things that you want in your relationship or your personal life, you will need to move out of your present comfort zone and make some changes. Moving out of your comfort zone is never easy as it feels unsafe and in general “Yuk”. THIS STEP WILL MAKE IT EASIER. www.startpointcounselling.com.au 07 3458 1725
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